Day 9
30 mins planning + 1 hr planned writing + 1hr journal entry
+ 10 mins gratitude journal
Today, we are invited to spot the difference between “truths” and “stories”: not the ones we put into the world, but the ones we tell ourselves. Many of our stories about ourselves masquerade as truths; especially if we heard them at an early age, before we had the experience to question or the language to challenge.
Repeated enough, these truths are believed and form blocks to our ambitions. They might be so well integrated into our thinking that we can’t imagine them not being true, or so well hidden that we don’t even realise they exist.
Journal Entry
Jacqui is asking us to find the block which most gets in the way of believing in ourselves as writers, analyse our fear, and then try to imagine life without it.
> explore the fear which blocks you most – I have a top three, but I’ve focused on one
> what is the cost and consequence of allowing the fear to rule you – an ever-decreasing circle: lack of commitment, lack of results, lack of investment
> imagine your life without it – not perfect, honestly, but better for not having to drag around that block anymore; more possible.
> now choose an alternative belief and imagine your life – I realise by doing this that I am not particularly outcome-driven in my writing. It is motivating to think of finished manuscripts and books on shelves, but actually what I most look for is a sense of peace and commitment; something more preliminary.
> choose to perceive life with that alternative belief – Not easy. The emotional equivalent of saying “do 100 push-ups” to someone who’s not exercised for ten years. It can be done, but probably in stages.
Exercise
- 1,000 words: rewrite a part of your book you feel you previously rushed or got wrong; go slower and make it better; don’t worry if your word count doesn’t increase (I added the additional 30 mins for planning)
- day 5 of gratitude journal
My response
- This day took more time than I’d set aside, so I did it over two sessions:
gratitude journal: 10 mins
re-reading and re-planning section of book: 30 mins
re-writing scene: 1 hr
examining block exercise: 1 hr
total: 2 hrs 40 mins
- Writing: the part I feel I rushed, which really matters, was the very first day, when we were invited to talk about what the book would be about. I free-wrote that without knowing where I was going, which was fine then, but my ideas have developed and I want to feel more purposeful about the trajectory my characters are on, even if I continue to free-write the chapters on first draft. This didn’t progress my word count but I do feel clearer.
- The “examine your fear” exercise was actually really hard work. I am aware of the difficulty I have truly understanding this. I was not able to see my own “block” as merely a matter of perception today; in fact, I think it will take many washes of positive solution to dissolve it. So to those doing this exercise, who also don’t feel able to see their block as merely perception: that’s because it probably wouldn’t be a block if it were so easily seen as an optional thought. I (and maybe you) will need to do a lot of work to create that mental choice.
all course content copyright Jacqui Lofthouse thewritingcoach.co.uk