Day 6
30 mins planning + 1 hr planned writing
+ 10 mins gratitude journal
I really need this advice today.
I presented what I thought was a decent first draft to my regular writing group, and it got taken apart. To be fair, I did ask them to. But careful what you wish for. Oof. I feel bruised.
What is it about getting it “wrong” that we find so difficult? There is, basically, the ancient fear of rejection; of losing value to the group, of being left behind on the tundra to fend for ourself. There is, also, the classic writer ego; of being riled that people don’t agree with us.
But I also think there is some concern that our calibration is off; that we can’t trust our judgment. That what we thought was the right route through the forest, was actually a dead end, or a circle. That we can’t trust ourselves with a story; that our subjective inclinations won’t find objective approval.
So it feels liberating to have Jacqui advise me to get it wrong. That I need to get it wrong – just get it down – before I can hope to get it right. The perfectionist in me wants to hit back with its airless logic; if you don’t get it right you’re not good enough; it’s because you’re not good enough that you don’t get it right.
But who was ever “good enough” to walk, on first try? To speak a full sentence, all at once? To immediately be able to drive a car? Why is writing – a highly complicated task with uncountable creative choices – seen as something we need to get right, first time?
Part of the answer, I think, is that we confuse being literate with being creative writers. I’ve read lots of books / seen lots of shows / written lots of sentences, so why can’t I put a story together on first pass? Everyone who’s tried knows how hard it can be, but that still doesn’t dampen the judgmental voice: “you should know how to do this”.
Well, I have it all confused. That judgmental voice is not a creative voice at all; it’s a critical voice, an editing voice. According to Jacqui, I am trying to edit at the same time as I create; two fundamentally different skills. This sounds so simple – you may have always understood! – and yet it is a revelation to me.
Of course! Creativity is about opening, encouraging, allowing. Criticism is about distinguishing, placing, constraining. Both have their role in the creation of a good story. But not at the same time. That’s like trying to drive with the handbrake on.
I think back to my writing group, and the work I took to them. It was a first draft; it was designed to be ill-designed. I did the best I could with a beginning – that was, necessarily, not the best I could do at the finish. Today, I feel relieved of an unnecessary misunderstanding. I am supposed to write shit; it is a natural stage. In Jacqui’s words:
“It means you have to accept that there is a place for bad writing and that place is not the trash-can but the blank page.”
Thank you, Jacqui.
Exercise
- allow time to plan again (I did 30 mins, like last time)
- don’t worry about getting it wrong, but
- be conscious of the direction of the scene
- 1,000 words: dramatise the scene: flesh out the character, focus on the conflict
- plus day 2 of the gratitude journal, do you remember?
My response
- Now I’ve gotten over the shock of adding 30 mins to my routine, I am grateful for the planning. I feel I get more out of the time once my mind has some idea of what it’s trying to do.
- My 1,000 words flowed quite nicely. The main characters went out for drinks and got deeper into each other’s heads. Now I also would like a gin and tonic.
all course content copyright Jacqui Lofthouse thewritingcoach.co.uk